In choosing our partner for life, is it best to look for the one most similar to you? Or the most opposite of you? You figure, when you say those two words ("I Do"), you are making a commitment to this person....for life. Come hell or high water, you two are committing to finding a way through it...together. With the divorce rate what it is these days, it's a wonder any of us take the plunge.
I took the plunge 11 years ago...and honestly never looked back. Has it been all roses and sunshine? No. Has it been completely miserable? Absolutely not. There is a happy medium between perfection and mistake. A medium not a lot of people recognize (or are even aware of).
It all started with that one day that most girls wait for (and dream of) their whole lives...their wedding day. We all plan it out in our heads....we imagine our dress, our family and friends bearing witness to our commitment before God that this is the one we will spend the rest of our days with, the food, the reception, the presents....it's all about us on that day. We put so much focus on that ONE particular day, and tend to lose sight of the 50 (or hopefully more) years that will follow. Granted, it's exciting and wonderful to plan a wedding in your head....but how much thought do we give to what happens when we wake up next to our lifetime partner the morning after the wedding?
I didn't have an extravagant wedding. I got married in small little chapel inside of John Ascuaga's nugget in Reno. And I was eight months pregnant. Elvin and I decided three weeks before tying the not that we were going to do it. He proposed to me on a Sunday morning while we were in bed watching the 49ers. We still lived with my dad. To most people, it seemed the odds were stacked against us...we went about the whole thing wrong. At least that is the way it looked to outsiders. But not to us. To us, it was perfect. It couldn't have been better. Our plan was to go up there by ourselves and get hitched. It turns out our wonderful family followed us and it made for a fun, intimate, family affair.
In all honesty, I didn't appreciate my wedding day at first. It wasn't until years later that I stopped and thought about it and wondered, since our wedding was so simple if I could've done it again, would I have done it differently. I can tell you without a doubt I wouldn't change a thing.
On that day, I married the man of my dreams. My best friend. I said I would spend the rest of my life with a man who loves me for me. Someone who accepts me for all my flaws and character defects and loves me more for it. I married the man who would walk to the ends of the Earth for me. I married the man who is the most wonderful father I've ever met.
After 11 years married (and 15 years together) I still get excited when we have our date nights. I love walking in the door and seeing him...it makes my day infinitely better. I love laughing with him, walking with him, talking with him, I even love to sit and be silent with him. He makes me a better person. There is no one else in this world that knows me the way my husband knows me. He's seen me at my ugliest, my saddest, my happiest, my prettiest. He's ridden the tides with me. He's been there to congratulate me, put me in my place, love me, hold me while I cry, celebrate with me....he's always been there.
The years together have by no means been easy. We've had our battles. We've even discussed divorce. It's not a fairy tale, for sure, but it is our story. We've written the pages of our book. We are the storytellers of our lives together. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, we've survived together. It continues to be a lot of work. We both know that. We are both okay with that. We know there will be many more late night discussions about where we are at and where we are going. That's what keeps us strong...our communication.
Will we be married forever? I hope so, but I can't say for sure. Do we NEED each other? Not at all. Both of us would be fine on our own if it came to it. But the beautiful thing is we WANT each other. I want him in my life. I want him to be by my side through it all. I want him on this journey with me. And if fate allows and we both work at our marriage, we will honor that "till death do us part" vow that we made 11 years ago. And, that would make all the dreams this little girl had come true.
I took the plunge 11 years ago...and honestly never looked back. Has it been all roses and sunshine? No. Has it been completely miserable? Absolutely not. There is a happy medium between perfection and mistake. A medium not a lot of people recognize (or are even aware of).
It all started with that one day that most girls wait for (and dream of) their whole lives...their wedding day. We all plan it out in our heads....we imagine our dress, our family and friends bearing witness to our commitment before God that this is the one we will spend the rest of our days with, the food, the reception, the presents....it's all about us on that day. We put so much focus on that ONE particular day, and tend to lose sight of the 50 (or hopefully more) years that will follow. Granted, it's exciting and wonderful to plan a wedding in your head....but how much thought do we give to what happens when we wake up next to our lifetime partner the morning after the wedding?
I didn't have an extravagant wedding. I got married in small little chapel inside of John Ascuaga's nugget in Reno. And I was eight months pregnant. Elvin and I decided three weeks before tying the not that we were going to do it. He proposed to me on a Sunday morning while we were in bed watching the 49ers. We still lived with my dad. To most people, it seemed the odds were stacked against us...we went about the whole thing wrong. At least that is the way it looked to outsiders. But not to us. To us, it was perfect. It couldn't have been better. Our plan was to go up there by ourselves and get hitched. It turns out our wonderful family followed us and it made for a fun, intimate, family affair.
In all honesty, I didn't appreciate my wedding day at first. It wasn't until years later that I stopped and thought about it and wondered, since our wedding was so simple if I could've done it again, would I have done it differently. I can tell you without a doubt I wouldn't change a thing.
On that day, I married the man of my dreams. My best friend. I said I would spend the rest of my life with a man who loves me for me. Someone who accepts me for all my flaws and character defects and loves me more for it. I married the man who would walk to the ends of the Earth for me. I married the man who is the most wonderful father I've ever met.
After 11 years married (and 15 years together) I still get excited when we have our date nights. I love walking in the door and seeing him...it makes my day infinitely better. I love laughing with him, walking with him, talking with him, I even love to sit and be silent with him. He makes me a better person. There is no one else in this world that knows me the way my husband knows me. He's seen me at my ugliest, my saddest, my happiest, my prettiest. He's ridden the tides with me. He's been there to congratulate me, put me in my place, love me, hold me while I cry, celebrate with me....he's always been there.
The years together have by no means been easy. We've had our battles. We've even discussed divorce. It's not a fairy tale, for sure, but it is our story. We've written the pages of our book. We are the storytellers of our lives together. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, we've survived together. It continues to be a lot of work. We both know that. We are both okay with that. We know there will be many more late night discussions about where we are at and where we are going. That's what keeps us strong...our communication.
Will we be married forever? I hope so, but I can't say for sure. Do we NEED each other? Not at all. Both of us would be fine on our own if it came to it. But the beautiful thing is we WANT each other. I want him in my life. I want him to be by my side through it all. I want him on this journey with me. And if fate allows and we both work at our marriage, we will honor that "till death do us part" vow that we made 11 years ago. And, that would make all the dreams this little girl had come true.
No comments:
Post a Comment